im the precious child of the Almighty!

2011-10-16T01:39:00.001+08:00

Genesis 32:24-2824 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” 27 The man asked him, “What isyour name?” “Jacob,” he answered. 28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[f] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”I used to read this passage with lots of questions marks in my head. I thank God for Mr Albert Lee's sharing with us at Volunteer's day, it was deep and clear. The passage does not suggest that Jacob overcome God (like what we usually presume in a wrestle match is like ); the passage is saying Jacob was so stubborn, that "the man..could not overpower him". The man is clearly the stronger one, as by just a touch, he caused Jacob's hip to be wrenched, which caused Jacob to be limping((v.31)Many times I find myself wrestling with God too, because of my stubbornness, my refusal to hear Him,to obey Him. The man asked for Jacob's name, not because He does not know his name, but because He wants him to admit who he really, forcing him to face himself.I have to face myself too, that yeah I'm really weak and insufficient, and there is really nothing to be ashamed of (sometimes our culture shout to us so loudly that we have to be somebody, like smart,cool,pretty etc. just be somebody like that). There is nothing to be ashamed about being insufficient, because that's the fact of human. We can still rejoice for being weak, because we have Christ living in our lives, who has overcomed everything for us, who has redeemed everything for us.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2Corinthian 12:9

2011-04-27T21:13:00.002+08:00

Ephesians 1:3-14

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has blessed us in the heavenly realms
with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

4 For he chose us in him
before the creation of the world
to be holy and blameless in his sight.

In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ,
in accordance with his pleasure and will—
6 to the praise of his glorious grace,
which he has freely given us
in the One he loves.
7 In him we have redemption
through his blood,
the forgiveness of sins,
in accordance with the riches of God’s grace
8 that he lavished on us.
With all wisdom and understanding,
9 he made known to us the mystery of his will
according to his good pleasure,
which he purposed in Christ,
10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—
to bring unity to all things
in heaven and on earth
under Christ.
11 In him we were also chosen,
having been predestined according to the plan of him
who works out everything in conformity
with the purpose of his will,
12 in order that we,
who were the first to put our hope in Christ,
might be for the praise of his glory.

13 And you also were included in Christ
when you heard the message of truth,
the gospel of your salvation.
When you believed,
you were marked in him with a seal,
the promised Holy Spirit,
14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance
until the redemption of those
who are God’s possession—

to the praise of his glory.

2011-01-11T01:09:00.002+08:00

i want to blog, but too tired and lazy to blog, my draft for 2011 resolution is still on my dashboard, not published cuz it is incomplete..Zzzz..but blogging is fun in a way as your thoughts are being explicitly expressed out, and when you read what you had wrote, you will be amazed that you actually can use words to tell your thoughts(which is suppose to actually resides in your mind)..hahaha :P

语言 & 言语.
language& parole.

before i lost my conscious, i can tell you i what i learn in lesson today--- i learnt that 语言 comes before 言语；先有材料，才有一道菜。As my teacher carries on explaining she mentioned a point that 是先有声音，才有文字，at that moment, this bibical scene came into my mind:

"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:8-9

At the beginning,God created everything through what He said; at the beginning, He speaks to man. Then, to retain and constantly remember God's words, men carved and write out what He had said.

The order and signifcance of language, is coherent with what the Bible has portrayed too. :):)

2010-11-16T00:08:00.002+08:00

wei wei popped me a personality quiz over MSN, I decide to do it, and the result surprised me:

Introverted (I) 53.13% Extroverted (E) 46.88%
Intuitive (N) 53.13% Sensing (S) 46.88%
Feeling (F) 58.06% Thinking (T) 41.94%
Judging (J) 60.71% Perceiving (P) 39.29%

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html

2010-02-16T00:20:00.007+08:00

10 days to China.....
yes, i am excited yet apprehensive at the same time.

Because I know that I am going to China, I want to do settle all things, make sure that everything is done and pass over properly, I meet up with ppl that I love and missed, I ensure that I got the things needed for home and overseas..etc. This process that I'm experiencing now, feels like the question "What will you do, when you know it's your last day on earth?"

I got to buy insurance although I'm not expecting myself to be in serious accidents, nor a fatal one. The act of buying is to insure the unexpected. Perhaps the unexpected cause me to feel "it's my last day on earth". But deep down I know that God is with me all time, I shall not be afraid. :):)

Let's talk about what I watched on Channel U : 200 Pounds Beauty

选择整形来改变自己的宿命，让自己能够更有自信地生活，是对还是错呢？其实这不能以对错去衡量。汉娜清楚地知道她接受整形是为了让自己能够充满自信地活着，而不是为了满足自己的虚荣心。她不要因为别人的歧视而在死亡边缘徘徊。她要别人给自己机会、她要真正地谈恋爱、她要作一位不许戴面具的歌手。解决的方案就是整容整形吗？

但是，整形后，别人所给予她（美女）的特权只是表面短暂的。她所要换回来的所谓快乐是以亲情和友情为牺牲品。到最后她也迷失了自己，因为她所得到的自信心是建立在他人的肯定和眼目上。

作美女好，还是丑女好呢？两个都好，只要清楚知道自己的位格、清楚知道自己是谁，各人都能活出精彩。
美女和丑女——是没有贵贱之分的。

" The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? "
Psalms 118:6

2010-02-04T23:41:00.002+08:00

out-of-my-laziness day!

it has been quite some time that I accomplished many things in a day. As I grow older, I have increasing reluctance to do many things together in one day.

What I did today:

1. Made Tiramisu
2. Swimming
3. Cut my Hair
4. Home for dinner

All thanks to Sherlyn and Jo:):) if it had not been their unwavering decision to make tiramisu AND swimming. I will seriously forgo swimming, although i am already in my swimming suit. :P

6 egg-yorks that turn into a lump.
12 egg whites that add flavours to our cup noodles.
1 spoilt goggle, 1 lent goggle.
6-2,7-2 laps.

Thank you Jo and Sher for spending time with me :D:D I love spending time with you two.

2010-02-03T01:31:00.004+08:00

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. " Romans 8:18-21

A deep groaning that only God can satisfy and fill completely.

http://www.ymiblogging.com/

2010-01-07T00:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i think it may be better if i only know and befriend with a small number of people, so that I can be a better friend to the friends i already have.

Ha,IFs.

2009-12-25T13:56:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas!

The word 'peace' is one the keywords that we get to see during Christmas season. I always thought that 'peace'occurs very frequently during Christmas because it is the ultimate wish of all human beings. However, this Christmas I have learnt to appreciate the word 'peaçe'from a slightly different angle, that the word 'peace'is not so much of a wish, but a proclamation.

"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility..."Eph2:14a
Christmas is the celebration of Jesus'birth, His birth proclaims PEACE --- peace between God and man.

"that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them." 2 Cor 5:19a
Peace is the work of reconciliation.
Christians have the reconciled relatinship with God, they are committed with the message of reconciliation, and there's an eagerness for reconciliation work to be done in lives.

2009-12-17T12:44:00.002+08:00

Camp DIY,followed by Malacca Trip mission trip followed by Church kids camp,That's 2weeks away from home. I need time to stop and reflect back the numerous lessons I have learnt through all these trips. I really loved all these trips that I get to participate. Many people may be busy with their Christmas shopping,clearing leaves, packing bags for holidays , I see people busy sowing seeds for God's kingdom during this Christmas season. It's simply hearwarming and encouraging.

I met new people and get to know people better during these trips. The people whom I met consists different age group, different walks of life, but all going all out to serve the mission. During the mission trip, I get to know people who are about the same age as me,and they too carry a heart of wanting to serve God, serve His people, serve His church. After adding them in facebook, I foud out that I have more common friends with them , they too participated in some form of Christian activities and they shared their testiomonies. My friends who form different slice of my life, as i see the whole picture, I'm in awe of God that He has moved so many people, that now many of my friends have the burden to want to reach out to the friends around them.

Although, the number of friends I have may not outnumber the number of friends who need the gospel, I know that God still has His sorverign control over His people.

2009-10-29T08:39:00.003+08:00

"When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

What is man
that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.

You made him ruler over
the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas." Psalms 8:3-8

Seriously why would God, who is so powerful , gives power and authority to man, who failed totally to recipocrate His love, moreover give glory and praise to themselves instead to the One who create them. Yet God's love remains extravagant, that He chose to send His Son, Jesus Christ,2009 years ago to provide a way for man back to Him.

words to describe God's love : divine,sacrificial,gentle,zealous,intense,passion,extravagant,everlasting........

2009-10-10T00:08:00.002+08:00

i thought of a random sentance while i was taking my shower :

败之痛，悟之深，行之远。

自解：失败沉痛一些，后来在生活上所领悟、领受的会更珍惜，走在人生的道路上也会享受更多一些。

My life is beautifully crafted in the hands of the Creator.

2009-10-03T01:06:00.002+08:00

"... may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation,
so that you may know him better.
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened
in order that you may know the hope
to which he has called you,
the riches of his glorious inheritance
in the saints,
and
his incomparably great power
for us who believe. "

Eph 1:17-19

2009-09-20T23:49:00.005+08:00

The work of William Tyndale and Richard Taverner. This bible is from the year 1551 in the reign of King Edward VI, is the Taverner Old Testament and the Tydale New Testament translation.
(*caption and all photos here from: http://blog.lemonshortbread.com/)

went to the Dead Sea Scroll Exhibition yesterday with Enci and SzeEan,

I'm marvelled about the fact that our Holy bibles really don't come easy

countless people had risked and sacrifcied their lives just to protect the bible, making sure that it will be pass on to many generations,that they too can enjoy God's Word
many significant people had spent so much time and effort,under harsh and tormenting conditions just to translate to another language, so that the Word of God can reach another race. after them will get to enjoy the word.

And God's timing is just so perfect, that under a particular political and cultural factors, the bible can be formed and produced massively.

One new martyr that I learnt from the exhibition:William Tyndale.

To know more about him you can refer to this :http://www.tlogical.net/biotyndale.htm

2009-09-11T16:14:00.002+08:00

in the previous post, i mentioned about excelling.
at the same time of wanting to excel, it is so easy to fall into the trap of arrogant and boastful

may i be reminded of this:

Jeremiah 9:23-24

This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD.

:):):)

2009-09-03T20:56:00.002+08:00

竟然在电视节目上《明星职工队》意外地看到泰国晨曦戒毒所。虽然不是我所去的那一间，但是还是让我忆起了在两年前到那儿短宣的日子。弟兄之间的爱心和那颗为神委身的心、简单朴素的生活、不卖任何会上瘾的食物、可口可乐弟兄、小孩的天真无邪、真诚待人的态度努力地学华文等等....好想念泰国清莱的小朋友和弟兄姐妹啊，不知道他们现在过得怎样了。

2009-08-25T00:19:00.003+08:00

In a new semester, I pursue excellence in my academic performance.
However, may I also pursure greater excellence in somethings that is so much more important --- ministry, God's work and people.

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Phil 3:8a

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2Cor 12:9a

God's grace overflows.

2009-08-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

while watching Boys over flower on TV just now, there's this scene that the 3 big guys and the female lead played hide-and-seek, and this random thought came into my mind: Why we no longer like to play hide-and-seek when we are grown up?

2009-07-31T00:09:00.004+08:00

despite the many failed attempts, still you must start somewhere.

thank you for the forbearance you had shown to me.

2009-07-26T23:24:00.008+08:00

Hello, don't be puzzled, i am just trying to practise chinese writing. So I am going to comment on the recent Jap show that I watched.

《绝对男友》是一部爱情故事；故事的题材新鲜，利用了另一个视角去说、看爱情。这个故事可以引起人的共鸣又能引人思考，绝对是一部成功的戏剧。故事围绕着三个主人翁，机器理想男友天城奈特、女主角理衣子和社长浅元庄志。

一个机器人因为女子的爱而产生了“自我意识”，让原本只是一个机器人变得如同人一般。一个没有自我意识的机器人是按照体内已设定好的程序去生活。但是一个有自我意识的机器人就如同人一般，可以自己做出抉择，不再按照设定好的电脑程序。这个故事情节，间接地点出了人和机器人的区别；人有自我意识而后者没有，所以也是人可贵的地方--有能力想、做决定。

但这时，情节也暗示了结局将是可悲的。这自我意识对奈特来说是痛苦和矛盾的。虽然有了自我意识，他可以真正地去爱理梨子，不按照电脑程序，但是事实是他还是一个机器人。他不能和理梨子一起变老，不能和理衣子去组织一个家庭。机器人对理衣子的爱是万分的纯洁真诚的，和现实生活上所遇到的爱形成了强烈的对比。但是，这份爱，他却只能割舍。这个无奈也是令人催泪之处。

这是我尝试写的观后感。我还是很喜欢这部戏的主题曲。以下是另一个版本，呈现了另一种风格。那位钢琴家真的好厉害啊！第一次看到钢琴家弹到又有劲又开心；歌手絢香的声音嘹亮优美，赞！

2009-07-18T23:05:00.008+08:00

Thank God for today's bible study.
it's really a joy to see ppl bring away with them new understandings from God's Word.
i think that's the joy of teaching too. :):)

it is really hard to walk in step with the Spirit, especially there seems to be so many "exciting and fun" activities going around us, which makes me want to go for it, join the crowd~ it's so hard to beat the crowd right?

but then that will not be living a life which bears the identity of God's child. It is truly hard, but we can be assured that we are able to do so, because we have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, to help us to transform to His likeness each day. :D

"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:17

The Jap show "absolute boyfriend" soundtrack is really nice. The tracks are all instrumentals. The orchestra played very very well and the pieces have excellent arrangements. It wil be nicer if the soundtrack includes the only opening theme by Ayaka. :P

I like this song because it beautifully expressed a longing --- that is HOME.

The singer has captured the esscence of the song, the lyrics was well written. Haha, ya i don't understand Jap at all, what i meant was the chinese translation done by Channel U. too bad I cant find the chi version online. so here's the english one.

This song has sort of reminded me that I should be eagerly longing to go home too, to the heavenly home, the day when Jesus Christ comes again. there will be full restoration, sweetness and peace. :):)

2009-07-15T21:50:00.004+08:00

i'm frowning real hard today because of the classes i went in today.
I'm quite angry at the way the students treat the teachers. rude and demanding. the way they ask questions is very impatient.

humph. ok. PATIENCE.
the teacher told me is no use getting angry, when u get angry over them that's the end of story.

wondering...
they are in some ways pure and innocent once too...
it's just a few years time...

:S

2009-07-12T23:24:00.003+08:00

school experience in a pri.sch comes to an end for me.
tmr will be school experience in a sec.sch.
I'm thankful that Im posted to that pri.school,the school has a very postive working environment and there's so much to learn from the various teachers that i met.

CURRICULUM. INSTRUCTIONALS.ASSESSMENTS.
three important elements served as one whole big thing -> Education

pri.sch life serves as a foundation for future learnings (academic, behaviours,values etc).
it's so scary when certain things are not being corrected whilethey are young, the things will continue to head in the wrong way and MANIFEST. :S

to mark the end and the start of another week is
A thankful heart.

2009-06-30T00:37:00.002+08:00

the mentioning of words that seems christian-like, does not equate to a spiritual-well believer.

thoughts and intentions that are stirred by my emotions, once again, caused me to see how sinful i am.
even the best deed that i can do, can turn into a sinful act.

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! "

Romans 7:24-25

2009-06-29T00:09:00.002+08:00

is it because sin has entered this world, hence it is inevitable that we will meet with some kind of 遗憾?

trying to understand the emotions that I'm going through now.

2009-06-26T00:24:00.004+08:00

I have moved on a few chapters. I'm now on the chapter of "The Discipline of Commitment". (Yes, I'm still on the book discipline of grace. :)

"If we ourselves hope to make any progress in the pursuit of holiness, commitment is absolutely essential. One reason we do not see more progress in holiness in ou lives is because we have, fr the most part, lost sight of the necessity of commitment."

I usually come across this word "commitment" when I talks about whether to take up a project, ministry or simply get involve in some form of activities. Recently, in the OBS trip which happened in early June, I came across this word in a very different angle.

If you have been to OBS, you will know there's this Jetty Jump. You are suppose to walk out of that plank on your own and jump off into the sea. Here's a picture of me jumping to show you how scared I was!

Anyway the point is not my picture, so I was really scared, I think I took really long just to jump because I was walking so slowly out to the edge. Ok, maybe not walking, im basically shuffling to the edge. haha. so I jumped and yeah! happy that I conquered. After the whole episode, I asked the instructor what's the secret to do the jetty jump? Cuz I'm so scared just now, I'm very eager to find out how to overcome this fear that I have and he simply just said " Commitment". What he said caused me to ponder. However, I didn't come out with any "enlightement", till i read this.

I fear to jump, cuz of many reasons , afraid of heights is my main reason, then imagine things like accidents, get drown etc. Despite the many different fears I may have, what will push me to jump is the idea of commitment, to be willing to commit to whatever may befalls. in other words, willing to give yourself to whatever things that will happen next. To me, commiting myself to a "question mark" (cuz i don't know what will happen what, so is a question mark) blows my mind, or I should say I already know of a very certain hope that I have that is found in Jesus Christ, so I simply just say I commit myself to you Lord, at the point of jumping.

This experience helps me to relate with commitments to ministries. I fear that I do not have enought time, cant juggle, cant do the job well etc. True, I do not know whatever that is ahead when I commit,but the comforing things is there's a Holy Spirit who lives in me. There's a God that I can trust. There's a Holy Spirit that will enable me.

P.S Having said this does not mean I must commit everything that comes my way, I have to be prayerful about it.

I have only just started reading on the chapter. will refine on what I'm thinking again.

whole day meeting in school tmr! goodnight! :)

2009-06-22T00:14:00.003+08:00

I'm here to blog!
finally :)

just wanna share abt what I read recently from the book: The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges.

Cruise Control Obedience:

"Just like the cruise control that some cars have, you accelerate to your desired speed, push the cruise-control button, and take your foot from the accelerator pedal. then you can ease back and relax a little, no longer have to experience the fatigue that comes with constant foot pressure on the accelerator" --> convenient.

This illustration given by the author is that he wants to illustrate how often we, the follower of Christ, "have arrived at a comfortable level of obedience, we push the" cruise control" button in our hearts, ease back and relax. "

What is a comfortable level of obedience?
"This level is most often determined by the behaviour standard of other Christians around us. We don't want to lag behind them, nor we are eager to forge ahead of them because we won't want to be different."

"We love to blend in with the level of obedience of those aound us."

Do I have the courage NO to blend?
If God wants to lead me further, do i say NO, NO, i'm fine here.

I am reminded once again to be focus, who's the master of my life.
once again, i'm reminded about the passion I ought to have in following Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour.

2009-04-24T00:05:00.003+08:00

have been out shopping with sis for the past two days!
just wana blog that i ate super duper delicious oysters today!
it was at a very authentic japanese restaurant, you will think that you are at japan.
not only the interior design is japanese-like but you are surrounded by japanese, which shows their food are really nice.
The oyster is big big, with special japanese style seasoning and you just have to SLURP it up.
woossshhh~

however the price is a bit expensive so, i think I will only get to eat it again,perhaps a few years later?

:):)

2009-04-23T00:45:00.002+08:00

wanted to change my blogskin again, but the template just refuses to cooperate with me.

i want to blog about what i watched yesterday!
i watched 《天冷就回来》by local theathre group实践剧场( must support local productions!)
it is seriously a very well done performance.
watched with my fellow uni friends right after we end our last paper~ woah!

The play started off by a guy,after the death of his lover,left Singapore for New York to pursue his dreams in music. In the foreign land, he met fellow Singaporeans and manage to get a job as a pizza delivery man. He also get to know a Singaporean girl who loves performing, she will always go for all the musical conditions, hoping to be selected on day and make a name for herself in NY. As the story goes, the guy and the girl fall in love...

That's the main storyline, so through the play there are several themes being brought up:
are love and career rivals?
are dreams to impossible to pursue?
does true love only belong to a man and a woman?
What makes a Singaporean?

These are the general themes that I have observed.Interesting right?.... haha, but of when one of the particular theme was being brought up...it did erk me. Although i personally strongly disagree, I felt that they have developed the story really well that it was well brought up. That scene definately caught me by great surprise, but is still acceptable(in the context of the show).

Another point that makes this a fabulous show is the lyrics of the songs! I think through the recent module i learnt in sch, I have learnt to appreciate poems and lyrics much much more. The lyrics written by liang wen fu, the words are very well chosen, the imageries are very well used and illustrated. On top of the well written lyrics, there's live band throughout the whole musical. I like live bands for musicals!

The lovely evening marks off with me buying their soundtrack and got their autographs :P I have been reading Liang Wen Fu's written works the past few weeks, in preparation for my exams, hoping to model after his way of writting, so I do get a bit excited when I see him.haha. although he is like one of our lecturer in NIE? haha.

I'm falling in love with musicals. :):)

some interesting thoughts came into my mind too~
is arts using the poor's stories as a game for the rich?
is arts just a mean to beautify man's sinfulness?

another very happy note~
my cousin just shared with me that she has found out that God has been with her all along and she is currently having bible study with someone.
I was like stun, feeling so unbelievalbee and then woooahhhh!!!
Seriously, God works beyond my imginations. :D:D:D

lalalalaa...

2009-04-12T16:40:00.003+08:00

It's Easter Day!
It's a time of celebration for life.

but come to think of it, what's there to celebrate about life?
sorrows and bitternesss definately outweighs the happiness in life.
although there's a common saying that goes "ren jian you ai he xi wang"
what people can give is temporal and limited.

but because Jesus came, he makes it possible for us to celebrate life. :):):)

2009-03-25T00:09:00.002+08:00

the needs.I see it, I must carry it out.

the sheeps.Response & Responsible.

2009-03-24T11:03:00.005+08:00

Change grumbles to thanksgivings:

Thank God that I have assignments to do. :)

anyway some pictures from a camera that i just bought from the IT fair.SONY W170

the sky was really abit orangy that day.

RAINBOW :D ( without the flash on)

the rainbow was really huge. after crossing the carpark and a distance i can still it see it, arching over the sky. :):) taken on sun 22/03/09.evening.on the way for dinner with dad.

2009-03-20T09:06:00.002+08:00

MercyMe - Word Of God Speak
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's OK
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Chorus:
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness

When troubles come, it's so easy to want to find an outlet and pour out your anguish and sorrows, who will remember to turn to God, to His words, to hear what He has to say?

Let my eyes not just see sorrows and hatred but see God's hands in control.

2009-03-06T12:02:00.002+08:00

i'm back at je library studying. :P
I have not come here to study since A level! which is like 1 year and 3months ago?
time is flying fast and today is the new batch of jc graduates collection of A level results day.
and this thought came to my mind: would I have done better if I was not this and this or was not in that and that?

maybe I really made some bad decisions along the way back in JC days, but the amazing thing is I am still in God's plan.

how come? I guess it can't be work out through equations. :):)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

by the way I just visited the dentist and did two fillings, BUT! the dentist say there are two more bad decays~so she requested me to visit her again to do the two fillings up.

:'( OHNO, I have bad tooth because of poor brushing techniques...

2009-02-13T08:38:00.002+08:00

就这样，和我一起从小长大的玩伴，乘了飞机飞往她人生的另一个篇章。
愿她在那儿，可以重新认识自己，找到有主时时同在的喜乐与平安。:) :):)

2008-10-26T22:44:00.002+08:00

Rejoice in the Lord!

God has used this word to constantly remind me and make me reflect that:

what does rejoice means? It means having the unweavering joy and confidence in God.
when things don't seem right, the more i need to rejoice. This is a test of my faith in Jesus Christ.
i can rejoice in whatever cirumstances because no matter how bad are the situations, there's this assurance: i am in a position of complete reconciliation with God.

Chorus:

O REJOICE IN THE LORD,

He makes no mistake.

He knoweth the end of each path that I take!

For when I am tried and purified,

I shall come forth as gold.

2008-10-22T23:57:00.003+08:00

i need to change my blog skin! it looks really dead.

Why do i want to keep a blog if i find it so ma fan to keep?
I guess a blog to me helps me to keep track of some events and thoughts that I have at the particular moment in life? I think it's nice to read back the blogs and trace how much you ahve grown , by God's grace. :) i can't think of another alternative to do it, cuz i can't write it down in a dairy, but if i don't take effort to point it down somewhere, i will forget abt it. Moreover, when some thoughts lingers,it's good to type it out. It helps me to give further thoughts about it. I need an outlet to voice out.

i admire those people who have good language proficiency because they can express themselves well.
recently, i have reading so much on eduactional pschology,have been trying to identify myself with some of the theories. trying to match some of my experiences with what have been explained in the theories. I have not come to a conclusion to some of question on my mind, or perhaps i think till im lost. haha.

anyway, another entry of joiting down my thoughts,
it's fustrating to know that i have so many many weaknessess, but God still accepts me and wants to use me.
because of Jesus, what is actually dead came alive!

His love, His grace and His power.
some staements sounds really simple as I have listened and read about it over so many times the apst 20years , yet it's really hard to act it out.

one of my churchmate made this video for our youth group and also to sort of publicise our youth group to the public.
when i look at the youths we have, there have so much potential to do so much more for God. i think there's more intiatives to be done on my side.

I thought i have overcomed that painful experience. but there's actually a spill-over, which i need to continue to ask God to help me work through it.

teach me Lord, to learn how to love and dare to love the people around me.
teach me Lord, to built my security in you alone.

check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eax1cM3wZJ8

2008-10-12T00:42:00.002+08:00

a Christian marriage does not mean having a wedding in a church.
a Christian marriage does not mean having two Christian lovey doveys.
A Christian marriage is when a Christian couple becoming one in flesh uniting in Christ.
There's order and unity. :)

it's really a joyous thing to attend church wedding, witnessing two person, who each aims to love God with all their heart, becoming husband and wife. :D

yesterday, i was just telling sher about school. I was feeling abit down because my work ( a group project) was not in a sense being selected. i know that is a really bad bad bad thing. i should never compare, but is just so hard to not compare with others. it's so hard to not want to stand out from the rest.
it's hard, but I want to learn to really really practice : do my best like doing for my Lord, and let God handle the rest. My role is never to compare with others , but really to finish what is given to me well.

I am preparing Romans for my church and I can really feel and understand how deep is God's love for us. However, i really lack in communication skills to explain the weight of the whole idea. May i persevere to carry out what God has placed in my heart.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8

2008-10-10T01:18:00.002+08:00

my blog is really dead .
haha, no time to blog.
and i raelly wonder how do i want to use my blog well?

ok i will try to revive my blog someday.....

just told a friend online that i feel bored and need someone to talk to.
you know why is that so?
cuz i have always been facing my assignments and essays , i am talking to myself more than to others! so so lonely...haha! :)

i'm once again thankful to God for friendssssssssssssssssssssssssss! :D

2008-09-29T00:06:00.002+08:00

happy day today :):)
though the weather is really hot, and my heels are really bad. :P

finished some assignments, although there still plenty to go.
went over to linda's hse to do our cupcakes!
haha, we scored poorly for presentation but taste wise is nice :D
and we tried to make the pumpkin thing that stef has always longed to do.
haha, we made pumpkin tarts! haha, nice! healthy tart w pumpkin being high in fibre, and digestive biscuit as the cake base.

no wastage. :):):)

a week is starting again.
although there's alot of assignments to do,(especially i have this philo essay that is going to due soon)
but may I continue to trust and depend on God's strength and tide through this week.

full of thanksgiving for I have a heavenly Father who love me lots lots lots lots. :D:D:D:D

2008-09-23T00:51:00.002+08:00

horrible.
in a surpressed mode.
urgh.

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow."

2008-09-04T23:45:00.003+08:00

yawnx...
suppose to write this reflection thing for edu psy, but i'm clueless on what to write.
it is on the topic about motivation.
how are you going to motivate at-risk students?
interesting topic right?

there's thing about theorotical and practical.
if we do not implement what we have studied into our teaching, then we have studied will be useless. many have said that it is idealistic to implement what you have learnt to teaching, cuz reality differs alot.
am i really in my own bubble world?

i really don't want to start doing my work.........whine.......
i want to change my blogskin!
i want to start doing my cards!
i want to sleep!

sigh. but not now.ok do work.

2008-08-15T23:55:00.002+08:00

2 weeks of school has passed! and there's seriously many stacks of notes awaiting me to read them.

i have 6 modules:

communications
teaching applications and theories,
educational psychology
modern chi lit
chi language reading and writting
Modern Chinese Phonology and HanYu Pin Yin

guess which is the one i find the hardest to survive? the last one ! Han yu pin yin!most of the time i was lost. it is so funny, each english alphabet letter has it's own chi pronouncation and each chi word you pronounce you must know which part of the tounge produces the sound etc etc etc.

im really thinking twice do i really like chi! haha, but yar like is still my fav. subject. but i thank God i have a very nice tutor for that most horrible module. so i think i will still be able to survive.

but something really interesting that i discovered during consultation with my tutor for that module to day.

do you know that there's errrors in our Han Yu Pin Yin system?

ok but it's still safe to continue using it.

it seems that there's bound to be flaws in systems ( not particularly referring to judicial system) and theories etc.

SIN. penetrating every areas of out life.

language is so intricate yet we are using our language so loosely. not taking seriousness in communication!

on an additional note, i ended my work officially as a Part-tie Barista at Spinelli yesterday. not so much of sad but i do not bear to leave the work when is like i'm starting to get used to it. i will miss the work and the people there!

ok back to prepare bible study for church youth group tmr!

2008-07-31T01:31:00.004+08:00

just came back from orientation camp!
it's really a nice one,can see and feel the efforts put in by the committee members.friends in the group are nice and cooporative.
but don't know why I just feel something not so comfortable.
but at least it really settles me for the sch reopen next week!

i saw this is one of my friend's blog and decided to quote her cause I have this thought before too but just that I do not know how to express it out. She can really link and express thoughts well. =) =) =)
A thought after visiting back your secondary school, seeing the people, things, places etc:
It has always struck me as rather strange that one can change so much in 10 years but in that same ten years, it seems that time has stopped for the stall owners and school people. Superficially, everything will continue to run as it has for the last decade. A sense of stability amidst constant change or pity that their lives has stagnated.

Friendship.
sometimes i really wonder hard about it.
or maybe, perhaps, a lot of times.

i want to secure my identity in ChristAlone.

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross

In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
is Christ alone

2008-07-23T00:23:00.003+08:00

thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings to me.
thank you for trusting me.
im aniticipating how God will mould you from a young boy to a young man who goes after God's heart :) :)

yesterday had bible study on Daniel chapter 3.

"Trust God."
"Have faith in God."

common phrases, popular phrases, how do you qualify it?
this phrase is so commonly used among the christian community that if we do not attempt to qualify it, we might just miss the essence of it. I mean we may not turly understand what we are saying.

I guess many of us are familiar about the event of Daniel's 3 friends were thrown into the fire furnace? do you know what did the friends say when the king commanded them to be thrown into the fire?

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

will you say that they are of little faith, because they replied to the king with the "if"? If God didn't...

No. I think they are truly of great faith. They truly understands that no matter what's the outcome, God is still soverign. So even if they are really thrown into the first and burn to death, they know that if God has allowed that to happen, that's the best for them.

will we find that God is wrong or saying that that decision is not wise enough if they are burnt to death?

what i have learnt that having faith is not only in trusting that somethng will turn out better. but is also trusting that even if something worse happened, it is still within God's soverignty, within His wisdom and best plans.

may i continue to love listening to God's Voice through studying of His word. =D

2008-07-16T18:42:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really wonder what does it mean to be a good daddy's girl.
does it really mean to obey whatever he says?
but if what he said is wrong, do i still listen?
obviously not right. (before that i have to truly examine whether it's wrong)
but how to tell him with a gentle and yet not offensive way.

i know where you are coming from, but sometimes is just so tiring to explaine.

urgh. i just don't want to be kid that no longer wants to talk.

"Honour your father and your mother,

so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you"

Exodus 20:12

2008-07-12T00:53:00.002+08:00

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast"

Ephesians 2:8-9

Who doesn't wrestle with sin?
I do.
i ought to feel bad.
but i should not forget the fact that God in His deepest love has chose to set me free!

"Those who look on him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."

Psalm 34:5

Through Jesus Christ, we are seen as radiant! GRACE.

may i learnt to show grace and forgiveness to others just like what God chose to give it to me.

:)

2008-07-06T14:25:00.004+08:00

urgh.
feel so lost and fruastrated.
no handphone, no cash can be withdrawn.
now, i realised my thumdrive is pick-pocketed together with my wallet and hp.
fruastrated over the fact that i feel so worried.

suddenly so many things are happening, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
this reminded me of, sometimes what i planned God can intercept it.
im just a very tiny and vulnerable person.

Lord, teach me to depend on You and to cast my worries upon You.

God is in control by Avalon

This is no time for fear

This is a time for faith and determination

Don't lose the vision here

Carried away by emotion

Hold on to all that you hide in your heart

There is one thing that has always been true

It holds the world together

CHORUS

God is in control

We believe that His children will not be forsaken

God is in control

We will choose to remember and never be shaken

There is no power above or beside Him,

we knowGod is in control, oh God is in control

2008-07-05T01:48:00.004+08:00

040708
Grace last day of work in Spinelli.
my shift manager made a comment that caught me thinking: no one is permanent.

040708
first meeting with Linda to discuss west girls event.

040708
a pick-pocket case actually happened on me.
there goes my wallet and handphone. =(

no CCTV in the shop.
shop assitants are clueless.
sercurity guards are helpless.

am i faithless?
Prayers didn't came first, my own thoughts came first into my mind.
I forgot that God is more powerful and mighty than the CCTV, the shop assitants and sercurity gurads,and me.

is not about beliving God can make my wallet and hp re-appear again.
it is about coming to Him first, because it shows that no matter how bad is the situation, i am trusting that God is in control; He knows all things and sees all things.
He knows what's happening to the birds in the sky, obviously He knows what is happening to me at that place and at that moment. So obviously He knows what i need.

no matter how bad the situation or situations in life is, there's still many things that we can thank God for.

for this incident,
i truly thank God for Stef.
I'm so so glad that i have a friend with me ( i can't imagine if i was alone).
thank God that she spotted that my bag was wide-opened.
calmed me down.walk around with me to find.immediately lend me her phone.talk to sercurity guards.provide me with money to travel.travel all the way down togethr to singtel shop to get a new SIM card.together we lodged a report. thank God for her smiles and laughters that helpes me not to be so sacred and tense up.

thank God that there's less than $5 bucks in the wallet, less than a dollar in the ez-link.the wallet is a really old one. so the theif seriously didn't "earn" much.

phew.
lessson learnt: Low crime does not mean no crime. be alert and responsible for your sown belonings. don't be too engross in shopping and forget everything else!

Thank God for your protection.

2008-06-01T00:43:00.003+08:00

I had a good rest today. :)

haha, didn't manage to go somewhere like by the beach or some parks to have some quiet moments, just went to some coffee house and sat there, read and think.
i think once in a long while, is good to have a personal retreat---a retreat that medidate on God's Word. :) :)

let me share with you some thoughts before i turn to bed.
it is amazing that what i was reading is about rest too! I'm reading this book titled: Written in Stone. which is talks about the Ten Commandements and Today's Moral Crisis. Do we still obey the Ten Commandements even though we are so called under the new covanent? Of course we do right, so how to in this present time.
so anyway, i was reading on the fourth commandement about keeping the Sabbath day holy.
some extracts from the chapeter :

"we are called to work and rest because we serve a working,resting God."

"Our problem is that we find it so hard to take genuine delight inthe sanctified pleasures of God.Dare I say it? God bores us. We are willing to spend some of our time worshiping Him. but then we feel like we need a break, and so we go right back to the world's lesser pleasures.But the more we learn to delight in God, the more willing we are to keep his day holy."

Learning points for me :
I am under His grace( He saved us though we do not deserve), yet often I am so unwilling to give that one day unto Him alone, wants to bargin the time to do more work ( it could be church work too).

I could be physically be in church but I am not truly setting aside the day for Him as my mind and heart might be at somewhere else. I'm once again reminded that going church is not about attendance but about whether am I ready to worship God.

Sunday is for us to rest, and this rest does not mean I sleep very long then get rest or go out with friends, but the rest should be tuning back to God (the One who made you), to be refreshed by Him.

Sabbath day is not the last day of the week, but the first day of the week. It is the Lord's Day:D

I haven really comprehend finding rest in Him alone but I know what Jesus has done for us gives meaning to everything in our lives. So let's just keep finding out! =)

31st May.west girls event discussion.tcc.PS hunting & shopping. fort canning.
thankyou Lord. :D:D

"My soul finds rest in God alone;my salvation comes from Him." Psalms 62:1

2008-05-07T22:01:00.004+08:00

today is my first day of work at Spinelli!
and i realise i seriously want a massage machines at home...
i have aching back and legs after standing for 6 hours,washing and scraping things...

haha, i am not complaining! just voicing out.hee. =P
but the good thing is i get to sample alot lot of drinks today and I blended drinks today for customers!=D of course there are some errors that i made....hee.

what can i do with my mind when i am doing things that don't really requires a lot of thinking?
hm.

2008-05-02T01:34:00.006+08:00

While I was surfing through facebook,blogs..looking through what people have wrote,how they have expressed themselves. I felt this sadness.

Everyone is trying to be somebody, trying to find something or trying to do something to cause people to look up to them.

They could be doing it consciously or sub-consciously.

I think i find myself among this people.

I attempted to shove this feeling aside, not to give much thought to it and try to occupy myself by finding jobs online.

I was listening to this Christian Radio online and suddenly I paused and listened attentively to the lyrics of the song.

The next thing I know,the song answer the uncertainties and doubts that I was having.

how amazing!

Every Man

by Casting Crowns

I'm the man with all I've ever wanted

All the toys and playing games

I am the one who pours your coffee, corner booth each Saturday

I am your daughter's favorite teacher

I am the leader of the band

I sit behind you in the bleachers

I am every man

I'm the coach of every winning team and still a loser in my mind

I am the soldier in the airport facing giants one more time

I am the woman shamed and haunted by the cry of unborn life

I'm every broken man, nervous child, lonely wife

Is there hope for every man

A solid place where we can stand

In this dry and weary land

Is there hope for every man

Is there love that never dies

Is there peace in troubled times

Someone help me understand

Is there hope for every man

Seems there's just so many roads to travel, it's hard to tell where they will lead

My life is scarred and my dreams unraveled

Now I'm scared to take the leap

If I could find someone to follow who knows my pain and feels the weight

The uncertainty of my tomorrow, the guilt and pain of yesterday

There is hope for every man

A solid place where we can standIn this dry and weary land

There is hope for every man

There is Love that never dies

There is peace in troubled times

Will we help them understand?

Jesus is hope for every man

I hope this song will speak to you too. =)

2008-04-17T21:38:00.003+08:00

It's all about people.

It's about engaging Young People's lives

It'a about loving them with a genuine love.

So hard!

It requires one to putting down of oneself, to look only at their interests and not your interest.

It requires sincerity to really want to know them.

still learning.

always learning never learnt.

although it's so scary that there is really so so much things to learn ,

I'm very thankful to God for each small little parts that I learnt,

Because He is the One that allow me to see and learnt. =)

Pei Mei. Gloria. Hui Yun.

engaging young people's lives.

2008-04-01T01:29:00.003+08:00

been buzzing about uni application the whole day today.
type and re-type essays.
thank you BJ for vetting my essay, trying to cut and cut so that it fits the 300 words max criteria.

for a moment i thought i have completed both essays for both uni,
HOWEVER!
i realise i saw something wrongly : i saw the word limit for NUS as 2000 words, but the actual fact is 2000 CHARACTERS !!!!

but thank God that sis was home today. just her coming home.
so with my sweetest voice i asked her to help me.
and my sis is raelly superb , from 3000 over characters she manage to help me squeeze to less than 2000 characters. =D
and she spent an hour to help me.
im so touched and happy! =D

i guess what i need from her is just quality time, which i believe is the root of my friction with her recently.
at least now we smiled =)

tmr is the dead line and there are supporting documents waiting to be send to the admission office.
plus the appraisal form.

ahyoi,so scary yet so exciting.
i guess the excitment comes from i really wonder where God will place me. =)

okie, im on a super high mood now because now is like 1 am plus plus and im here reporting to you that i need to sleep. goodnight!

hopefully i can hurry settle my uni stuffs and get back to work. i need to hurry catch up with my work!

P.S. i shall blog about my mission trip to thai soon~ =P

2008-03-30T23:38:00.004+08:00

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

On the altar,every single thing has to be surrendered.

2008-03-09T00:00:00.003+08:00

my sms inbox has been rather full since yesterday, so i decided i shall post them to really thank you for all your words of encouragements and comforts... =)

You funny ah, say sorry for what! Yes, you're in God's hands don't worry.He sure has a plan for you!Just trust and seek Him:) besides,grades aren't the purposes y we're on earth.meet up soon soon k. I wanna send grace present. --- eunice

Hmm u ok? Any plans then?
All rite, will keep u in my prayers sis.May the Lord keep u and give u peace=) --- Zhongjie

Hey... no need say sorry to me...u feel ok can liao --- Enci

Why did u say sorry.. Hmm ok glad to hear tt u're fine(: hmm my line's always available if u need anyone to talk to ok --- Keren

take care ok? u need to find someone to talk to can find me.. --- Shuzkx

Oic. Don't have to be sry la. =) --- WeiEn

Yep.It's ok. Just stay positive and trust in Him. *hugs**smiles* =) --- Qingyu

:)its okay to be disappointed though..Take cares then..message if anything..---Yurong

Yep you're well and safe in God's hands no matter the tide.Don't worry there are still options open out there for you and me.Can i call you tonight when you're more settled or you are free to talk now? --- tricia

Trust in Him.Don't give up. :-) cu tomorrow. --- Dora

Ok...At least u have e courage to face up to reality...Haha..That's great... :-) ---Weiling

Ok...Trust that God is still very well in control of e situation...Continue 2 trust and depend on Him 4 e way ahead k... ---Bev

I didn't dare ask how you did!Heh.But i guess it's alright then if you are so optimistic:)take care, we'll meet soon!
Mm,keep your options open!:)Physio is a good route to take too, i have a contact in there if you need to talk.well done for passing gp!!! ---Leann

Dear Christa,may God's grace comfort u this time ya.Will keep you in prayer sister.Take care:-) --- Peiling

Wan Xian, must jiayou k Yuen Kay's here for you!Anything just give me a call.Still love you no matter wat you are always the best the most hardworking in my heart. --- Kay

Hey sister...Have a good cry today n stand strong 2mor onwards...For the Lord will bless u in watever u do if u continue to have faith in Him...He will provide ur future route...Jeremiah 33:3"'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"---Sze Ean

Hey, how're you feeling? R you ok? do you need to talk? ---weiying

Hey christa,glad that u r trusting God.Rest assure that God knows wats best.*hugs* ---michelle

hi christa! today's a bright n sunny day. Are u taking in the beauty n joy of creation..?=) i found this beautiful verse during QT."I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." will pray 4 u to haf wisdom in choosing course! --- chun long

Hey wanny,just want to encourage u that its alright, u tried ur best.If u need any advice regarding uni,feel free to call me k.God has a wonderful plans for your life,and this includes ur A level results, He always knows whats the best for you.Faith faith faith is what u need k :) --- Jojo

these sms are really sweet (that's why it's in pink!) and precious to me. Through all these love and concern i received from you guys, i know God really love me lots! that's why i have so many so many little angels around me...thankx for you guys who made a personal call to me too, it must have been scary to call...haha..=)

ok,i can clear lots of space from inbox now. =)

some issues that i have to face:
when expectations ( from myself and others) are not met...
values of the world VS values of God.
Glorifying God means......
steps of Faith.

today im supposed to lead bible study during Youth group. but im feeling quite lousy that i really don't feel like leading. But somehow God reminded me that i can't because im feeling lousy then anyhow teach or lower my standard abit?So i obeyed and after the eaching, i felt this joy in me that truly once again assured me that im serving a God that is faithful and He is a true almighty God. and im very much comforted.

Thank God whose love for me does not varies. =)

2008-02-26T00:25:00.002+08:00

just had bible study on 1 timothy chapter 4.
the idea of Godliness is really very very hard to achieve.
just from the time i came home from bible study till now, i could already point out many ungodliness sides in me. =(
but Godliness is something that we as Christians must labour and strive towards.
It is a must!
Godliness is not something that is impossible to work towards because God has said in 2 Peter 1:3 "seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. "

urgh. i guess one key for myself is also to recongnise the value of Godliness.
If i do not see it , there's really no more in working towards it..............

suddenly there's question that pop up to me : am i really appreciative of what i have strive towards in the past few months? years?

2008-02-09T23:42:00.001+08:00

when you felt that you are being loved,
don't just stop there.
Think further.
who is this source of love?

Remember Christ. =)

2008-02-04T01:07:00.001+08:00

yippppeeee ! thank God that dad and mum allows me to go church mission trip to ChiangRai! =D

okieee, im really looking forward to 2 upcoming mission trips =D =D =D

**Right Attitude

2008-02-03T00:57:00.001+08:00

I thank God because there are lots of people around me who loves Him lots too. =)

sherlyn said that gloria has influence me in a sense to smile more and have a happy face, haha..well, it's true to a certain extent that gloria has make me smile more often( cause she is so lame and causing me to be cranky! hahaha..=D) but i know the more important reason is cause of God' love and grace that He had choose to let me see many new things in His perspective... =)

while listening and sharing,this thing is always concluded in my mind that is :
all man has sinned and fall short of God's glory.
broken communications.
broken relationships.
broken hearts.

drawing back to the idea that only God can ...

Purpose.People.Principle.
Attitude.Skill.Knowledge.
Heart.Will.Mind.

my prayer for today is to ask God to help me come to a full understanding to what i have heard,what i have read and what i have seen.

2008-01-30T00:26:00.000+08:00

HEY! i just realised that i have hitted 100 post and this is my 101th post! haha..anyway i gotta share with you what i have learnt from yesterday session and today's consolidation...=)

2 things that i took away with me
1) God is the source of wisdom.
so if you lack of wisdom, there's only 1 choice that is ask Him! =P
to choose otherwise , then the source can only be either from youself or the devil.
it is so obvious that the right thing, the smart thing to do is to ask God but so often i also find myself being a fool,choosing otherwise. >.<
Moreover, God says He will give generously.
" The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom"

2) God can intercept.
We always have many plans in our mind and heart,especially at least for me now i can have bigger plans for myself ...like what job i want..okie, if i want this job i cna try to apply this scholarship..this course...then confirm can have stable income...etc.
but i am again like a fool cux how i know i can live for another day?
i like how the speaker put across..."are we holding our plans lightly?" well, we ought to hold it lightly to a certain degree cux if we hold our plans too tight, we are not allowing God to be in the picture.
but we may swing to another degree that is we do not plan and just say just wait and see how God will lead me...well, God has given as a mind and a will so we ought to excercise it..
so for me, i will still do my planning but with a prayerful heart saying"if it is God's will,let it be" [not just a tagline but is said with a sincere heart] ,recongnising that God is ultimately the Soverign One, He is in control. =)

is so easy to swing from one extreme to the other...
may I consistenly ask God for wisdom.... =)

2008-01-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

the moon has been shinning really bright for the past few days...
the skies are clear and i can see more than a handful of stars...
i like the moonlight that shines through my windows and my bedroom floor...

just strolling home slowly under the bright moon light is really nice...
just enjoy the quietness, enjoy the moments that i can utter a few words of prayers and sing some songs to my dear Heavenly Father...
enjoy the moments of solitude before my Heavenly Father.

i guess the busyness of life, the fustrations,the sadness etc. in life should really push us to take time to be quiet in front of God.

today i learnt that God is love. He is truly love. only a trinity God is love.
when you say you love, there must be an object.
So if it is a non-trinitarian God, he can't be love because it doesn't make sense that he love himself.that's not love. there can be another possible object that is man himself. if it is this way then we can only say that God has love. He is not love.
Therefore, our God not only has love , He is love! this statment is valid ! cux He is a trinitarian God.
I hope i put it across rather clearly and there's no contradictions =P

God has continue to shower His love to me through many ways.
like i have a circle of friends around me whom i can learn from how to live out my life that truly counts for Him. like i can have a good exposure to His Word and Work etc etc.
knowing that i don't deserve all these in the first place but now cux of His grace, i enjoy all these things ... so really i must and want to love people like how God has loved me. =)

where there is pains and sufferings , teach me how to sow love.

2008-01-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hi ! I'm back in one piece from ProjectServe Camp. I have really enjoyed myself in the camp. I enjoyed the stretching of my physical limits ( walking kilo after kilos of distance, night cycling! PT in the morning). I have really enjoyed the sharing of Word, the sharing between project servants. But truly more than just enjoying , i hope i will remember what i have learnt and apply it for a life time.

Being a christian, is all about a life of
1) Service
2) Sharing of Gospel
3) Sufferings
4) Sacrifice

there's so much things to work on this year. On top of striving towards holiness, i must remember Jesus Christ. He's the reason behind of the things that im doing and going to do. How much and how far i will grow this year, is truly by His grace. =)

Triumph and struggles.
A level result?
Hm.

ProjectServe officially starts tomorrow! i have to report at 8.30am tomorrow! okie, first rule to myself : no complaints!=P

2008-01-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

wheee......im going away for ProjectServe camp in ard 8 hrs time? =P

well, i just want to jot some thoughts down before i officially start my year.

I'm gona delcare now that the year 2008 is going to be another year of grace and mercy ! just like how 2007 was. =)

of course there are uncertainties ahead just like 2007, perhaps more ...since i have to face my A level result...but I must be assured that just like how God have walked through with me 19 years of my life, He is going to walk through every seasons with me this year again! hehee..

i did plan some new year resolutions... i didn't list down too much so that it is stays rather realistic.hahaha.

1) improve on my prayer life.

2) don't let the doubts (regarding the Word) remain unanswered.

3) control my temper towards my family

4) show more effort in remembering my friends'birthday!

5) learnt how to touch the heart of people ( okie, this is rather general, but i dunno how to phrase it more specific =P)

6) continue to improve my english (& chi too)!!!

7) train my ears (in terms of music skills)

P.S. whoever read this, please help me along too k? =P

yup! Before i press on for the coming year, when i look back the year of 2007,there are really lots of things to thank God for. I really thank God for the people that He have put ard me...they are really like angels, helping,guiding and protecting me. =D etc.

there's lots of things that i wana say but i need to turn in now. cux i need to store lots and lots of energy for the camp. goodnight!

my 2 lovely friends :gracy and eunice =D

2007-12-03T11:42:00.000+08:00

It is PROM NIGHT today!

im not very excited actually because not all of my friends are going.
haha, but after doing so many thing for this day, i can now feel the excitment! teeheee....

list of things that i have done and i have to do

1) bought my little black dress at Robinson
2) trim eyebrown at Brauhouse
3) found and bought matching accessoriess at Chomel
4) found matching clutch and heels
5) done with mannicure and peddicure at Goodearth

6) having hairdo at Zoom today
7) learning to do make up myself with the girls today!

ahahaha..sound exciting ya? ahaha..yup im happy! but the manni that i did yesterday is not perfect anymore! i got some chip off...how sad lah.

ooo..another happy things is yesterday i went to watch an Wang Li Hong 's outdoor concert! haha, we got free tickets from her aunt's friend's daughter (what along connection right). And he was really humourous and cute, there is no wonder why my friend likes him so much. I tried to use my hp to take pix of him , unfortunately!, despite that im rather close to him , what i captured was just a figure of "white ghost" because of the strong lightings. well but nevertheless i still enjoyed myselfi. oh i think wang li hong got see me face to face leh! ahahahaha...silly me..

and i had a good sleep yesterday night (finally) i was having a few sleepless night due to STRESS! yesterday i was suppose to lead my very first lesson during youth group and because of this lesson i have prepared really hard and worry lots that is why i cant sleep and eat well. Haha , although i told myself not to worry too much cux God is there for me , but i still worried. Oh well, got some feedback and they it was rather okay, but i don't really feel it's ok. Hm, but truly, i wana thank God that i wasn't too nervous that i can't utter and also thank God that some people have gained some things through this lesson =)
oh perhaps the aprt that i can't eat well have done me good,perhaps i will look slimmer today..haha, silly me again. please DO NOT try to starve yourself so that you can look slimmer. =P

oh! it is12pm now! im gona meet my dear dear xin ying in 1hr and 40mins time..now gona pack my room a bit, pack some cosmetics stuff, prepare my bag, have a good thourgh bath!
i think im gona be late...ohno....=P

2007-11-26T11:44:00.000+08:00

I feel so happy to have friends who speak the Truth to me.

thankie Euniceeee! =D

2007-11-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

A LEVEL IS OVER !!!!!!!!!!!

haha...but i don't really feel exceptionally happy or relieved.

whY?maybe it was because the physics mcq today was quite bad. but actually i know the real reasons behind it. I know what's the challenges ahead for me which left me feeling rather scared.

well, that's a side note.

let me tell you how my friends and i celebrated. cathy,mic,pek,zihui and i went to sing K BOX ! and watched a very nice movie - STARDUST. We sang our hearts and lungs out(is this the way to phrase it?) , with pek trying to imitate and say funny dialouges...it's really funny =P

Stardust is a nice movie! it has suspense, surprise,humour and action pact elements. It's nice!

then went to eat dinner with pek,take MRT home with her..

haha..such a normal outing..but it's considered our last outing! so i feel abit sad..because i will miss those times that we mug together...crap together...get high together.. feel like slapping and boxing each toerh(not literally), hooking their arms and walk home together....i will miss them!!!

ok i shall stop here,im getting tired, wana turn in now..gdnight! =)

may i learn how to share people's emtion bagagges but at the same time lay all of it in the hands of the Almighty.

2007-11-14T13:51:00.000+08:00

im feeling random now so im gona blog randomly...

mummy is cleaning our house windows now..it's so scary to see her standing on the chair,wiping the windows..as you know i live on the 20th storey! what if she suddenly..such thoughts always freak me out...but when i asked mummy "aren't you scared?" she gave me a reply that shows that she is really not afraid at all...and i can't help but feeling wow, hoping that i can being more brave like my mum..not afraid of heights...(ok this sounds really trivial....)

ok exam news: 2 more papers left before "freedom" arrives...haha..i like how lily put it across...soon 'you will smell the freedom coming'. haha..the upcoming papers are MCQ papers! haha..it's a much more relax paper...BUT! still im still mugging for it..i didn't slack! haha....i seriously need to score like 39/40 ... cux the previous papers that i have done...are really weird....the questions are weird....=S ok, i shall not be bothered how i will score..and truly learn how to lay it in God's hands...

well, though it is exam period now...but there are lots of different thoughts lingering in my mind..ok one part of it is the after exams plans...but another part of it..is thoughts about..hm, human behaviours?
sometimes im really angry about myself for not being able to articultae my thoughts clear enough....or form logical links between the thoughts that i have in mind.... but well, what i can say is...whenever i see someone in great anger or harbouring great hatred towards someone or hear accounts from my friends on what's happening in their family...i just feel so sad...and perhaps...scared. sigh, i think the scariest thing on earth is really human being himself....
hopefully as i continue to think about what's on my mind..i will have a bibical perceptive and a heart that is not bitter...

ok...im not gona end this post with an emo note. it's 2pm now...it's time for lunch! yeah! do you know why i eat my lunch so late? because i want to eat that stall's porridge and yam cake and zhu chang fen...and that stall only starts serving at 2pm...yeah.ok! time to eat and study...

gracy is coming back to SG! eunice is ending her exam soon too!im gona have great fun this holiday! =D

2007-11-07T18:10:00.000+08:00

ok..im dying to blog but i don't know where my computer takes super long to load blogger....=S

im so SIANZ now..seriously...i feel so unmotivated to study! despite that i have pasted my " DREAM LIST" (list of things that i want to do after my As!) on my cardboard ..i still feel so unmotivated........ahhhh...how! i have not much time left before my next paper!

Hm, perhaps ...it has been too long since i last excercised...moreover there's so many things that i can snack at home...haha...that's why im feeling so piggy and lazy at home.....so i don't feel like studying!

Haha...ok lah, stop whining girl...i must get back studying despite that i don't feel like it! >.<

yeah..ok im gona cook my own dinner now and tidy up my house and wait for daddy to come back home from China!

2007-09-15T18:15:00.000+08:00

Yox ~ now is like around 17days after prelims? and around less than 45 days to A levels?
it is really scary when you start couting the number of days you have left with...
ok, my prelim was not very well done, my overall grade is pronounces like this: Eesss.
doesn't it sounds like eeks?

ok, i do feel eeks but thanks for by dear friends encouragements which reminded me to trust in Him.
I feel eeks because my dream of 3As is like quite impossible? not only do i feel eeks, but i also feel worried. But why worry? As we often say exams is not our everything!
But of course, this worried feelings can do you good too. It is suppose to give you some pressure so that you can be pushed. It is not supposed to make you feel lousey and you drop all the way to the bottom of the pit.

When i pray abouy my studies, i always asked God what should be attitude when i study? It is always easy to say: study for God's glory. However, it is always so hard to actualise it.
Well, not to worry.I guess as i continue to grow older(both physically,mentally and spiritually) i will have better glimpse of what does it mean to study for His glory.

For now, this is how i am going to remind myself. ( this final conclusion is formed through various encouragements that i got from my friends: jojo,tricia,lily,kay,alo etc.=D)

when i attempt questions, attempt it with my best efforts.i cannot think that i got second chance to redo it.just do whatever i can, and let God to the rest.(ok this last part sounds cliche but i must acknowledge that God is in control.=) REMEMBER : GOD PROVIDES.

Some key verses(it is always good to use bible verses, as God's promises lasts forever=D) to remind myself :

1 Corinthians 3:6
6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.

Romans 5:3-5
3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 8:28
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

thank God for the joy He has given me. =)

2007-08-05T18:15:00.000+08:00

today i sang a familiar song in church which talks about my response to God's love.

the chorus of the song goes like this (of course, the song is in chinese):

shen shen ai ni, ye su. (i love you dearly,Jesus.)

shen shen ai ni, ye su.

wo ai ni, chao hu shen ming zhong yi qie ( i love you more than anything else)

In the past one week, i had interesting conversations with my friends. We were talking about the environment we gona be in after we graduate. i heard sayings like : everybody is just gona care about their own benefits, care about how much money can they earn, your boss only looks at results ... so whatever it is , the process does not matter, it is the result .Stop being idealistic, no one will see your integrity and thus reward you.....

i was struck by this familiar song because i realise that as i grow older it will be increasingly difficult to love God.how often i failed in loving Him.sigh. but because of what Jesus has done for me, i will still be accepted by Him!

today's worship end off with a reminder to us that it is God who holds our tomorrow. We often worry because we did not fully surrender the authority of our life to Him.

His plans are powerful and organised. =P

it's hard to blog lately cause of my computer has super low moemory so can't really load the site. I guess i only can blog when other's computer is available. =)

7 days to prelim!!!!

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You"

Hey say Hi to my super cute niece!!

2007-06-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

hello!
today i went to eat mahattan fish market again! i must say the food is really not bad and the price is reasonable. =)
i have zhen ling!qing yu!wan ling!tricia!kah yoke!yuan shan!alodie! and kay! to celebrate my brithday and zhi lei birthday in advance!
and the tiny little strawberry cake which i really thought it was our bithday cake but of course is not! we had mango swiss cake! haha...zhi lei was just so funny the whole night lah... =D

i think i had really neglacted my friends. to be frank , im not close to everyone in this group of friends. however, for them to always be there for me to encourage me and consistently inviting me different celebrations,gatherings etc. is really a very sweet gesture. it makes me feel that im being cared for. so yar, i truly appreacaited it lots. =D=D=D

like what yuan shan say, despite my busyness,sometimes i do need to drop some short sms or give a short call to show my friends that i care for them.

it is interesting and amazing to see how our friendships have forged so far.
i shall post photos soon on this group of lovely friends! =D love you guys!

P.S : sorry for the extremely poor response that i gave when i receive the handphone pouch.im just shocked by the the girly looking lah, haha, i like all the things u all gave! thankie lots lots lots!

showing faithfulness in whatever things i do... =)

2007-05-09T21:59:00.000+08:00

I had my 2.4km yesterday ! and i passed it !!! wahahahaha ~ my timing was 15 minutes plus,best ever record in JC. haha ~ i think 'chio-ing' in the first round helps.My timing for the first round was around 1:40 , it's very tedious to run at such speed. By half way through 2nd round, im starting to pant (i usually start panting when im at my 4th round).So i keep telling myself to breathe deep and slowly,and of course i was asking God for His strength to keep me through. =D

i really have no idea how did my timing improved(my timing is usally between 16 to 17min).The whole process of running was really amazing. One thing is really by God's grace.

I think it reflects how the way i should prepare for my A. Like u know it's always the inital stage that's really tough ,but if im used to that kind of momentum that requires "big strides" of moving forward then at the end it will be real satisfying.

ok, i think what i mentioned above is not making sense to you cause im like talking to myself. =P

plenty of tests ahead ! ok just keep going.

He is my first thing first.
We are suppose to reflect His character in every way in our life,
thus i must be faithful to the things i do because He is faithful.

2007-04-30T22:59:00.001+08:00

hello peeps,
well, i have been feeling emo for quite a period of time.
i think i must really "grow" out of it, cannot let myself to continue to be in this state. It's defintiely not easy.
God has spoken to me times and times again to trust in Him but i have been a very disobedient kid.I threw tantrums,blame things on others ,trying to take control of the things on my hands etc. and yet I end up asking : Why are You not here with me?
But God is a faithful so how can it be possible that He has forsaken me? Very clearly it is because i am not willing to come back to Him that's why i am not able to see that He is with me.
He has not promised me a life that is a bed of roses but He has promised me to give me strength.
I have to endure hardship so that i can receive this joy at the end of the race(which is instilled by Him)
Why am i not able to trust Him then?
Is it because i feel that i can provide myself better than what God is able to provide?
fear of not be able to get what my deceitful heart desires?
When I say i want to follow Him then this life im living is no longer mine but His. I need to surrender to Him, He has the best plans for me.
What will happen if i do not give God the things on my hands?
I need to come back to God.

for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 1Peter 1:16 - 19

Come on, get up girl and start working, honouring Him in all things that you do! =)
Have faith!I am not redeemed by things that are perishable but im redeemed by precious blood of Christ!

2007-03-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

hello! it is friday! next week is term exams.
haha no sigh no sigh, i think i enjoyed and yet also dislike the process of preparing for exams.

you know what, i dreamt about collecting A level result yesterday night and my result was B B B E , haha..my reaction in the dream was devastating....but when i woke up i feel that it was really a nightmare. haha , it left me thinking: is it really bad if i get this result? am i looking at academic result in a correct/bibical perspective?

but i must say this whole preparation pushes me to be a more disciplined person which is good! im still far from it sia.

ok~ im going back to study ! =)

thank God for always been there to remind me to draw back to Him.
thank God for providing me great teachers and friends ! =D

there is not greater joy than serving the Lord wholeheartly. im trying to learn!

2007-01-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

hello!
i really have been wanting to blog again espcially i wanted to put up some resolution for 2007 .
Haha , however i know that if i were to keep blogging again, it will mean that there's a high tendancy i will be stuck to the computer for long.

so no! to blog. haha , so i will pen down my reflections instead and blog once in a while.haha.

it's only the beginning of the year yet im already pressing for time which is very good i suppose.
school timetable ends 4.30 everyday(except thurs) and my breaks are filled with extra lessons/remedials . Plus the commitments i have ..wow really no time.

Well, but don't worry for me, i really thank God to let me know very clearly that this is something that i chose, I must follow it through. Although very intense, but im enjoying the process. It's really very importat to learn to LOVE and ENJOY the process.

so i believe this is really gona be a year that i will grow in faith and also experience God's grace.

woah, in this year 2007, im gona have an exciting walk with God. =D

2006-03-17T21:04:00.000+08:00

i have decided, that is to stop blogging. i have been lamenting for a long period of time, it's time to stop and start to grow up lots more.

i will blog again just that dunno when...=)

2006-03-15T23:30:00.000+08:00

I FELL DOWN TODAY! ='(
BOOHOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

haha. the problem is i look too comical when i fell down.
here it goes :
i want to bored the bus 154.
within a split second, i found my self lying flat on the steps of the bus.
and within a split second, i felt myself so short, and the bus seems so tall.
haha...
i didn step on the steps i miss the steps and my leg brushed against the steps.
so got a bruise and 3 blueblack! ouch!
i just hope my bruise dun swell too much...

my leg look so ugly! so manyscars. now got a new scar.
i have not been falling down for quite some time.
haha. refresh my experience of falling down.

haha. i sound so sadist...haha.

moral of the experience : please concentrate while you are walking or boarding the bus.
stop day dreaming lah.haha. =P

2006-03-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really can't stand myself.
can't stand myself for always looking back not looking front.
u know like that song : bu xiang zhang da.
yar. somehting like that.
can't stand myself for being emotional.
look at my past entries.
ohmygdness.
if i could...
if i could.....
blab blab blab.
ohwell.
i can't.
sigh. how many times i tried , i still cant.
weird. this is really weird.
weird weird weird.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. >.<

im just venting out my weird feeling here. please ignore me.haha.
lee wan xian! please wake up!!!

2006-03-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

the DA CHANG JING show really very nice leh.
now i know why so many people are crazy about it.
especially aunties.
haha.

mentioning about aunties, today i was studying at mac,
suddenly was very disturbed by the chattering of an auntie with another listening.
they are educated aunties i believe, they are talking about some politics in some company.
then she complaine about the unfairness..and blab..
its no very loud but still i can hear quite clearly plus her action it makes everything very obvious.
i only have one concluding statment , i really don't like aunites to have long long complaines...
when i look at them the image of a witch will just appear in my mind.
haha. i dun mean it. i mean u can complaine but u koe not for nearly an hour non-stop.

had bbq with CGS gals today.
haha. they are CRAZY bunch of people.
to kanice: are u sure u can tag my blog everyday?=P
haha. but being with them makes me feel like a sec.sch girl again.
makes me feels that young again! haha.
the craziness we do. the noise we make. the laughters.....
i didn't eat much. i seriously dun like BBQ food.
i feel the fats...and oil...eeeee......haha.
i sound so health conscious lah!

yar.back to shld i join band.
let me try to weigh it.
join band : experience to play in a full band again. memories to be kept. there's no more chance after this to play in band again.have a tight timetable, then u will be more conscious in spending ur time.
don't join : because i was loose freedom of time, i will be tied down to commit a large portion of my time to practices. i cant commit to harp. cant wear the gown.haha. cant have time to meet up with people. need to assure my parents. cannot let them worry.

yar, sort of know. must be rational lah.
so..IM NOT GOING TOMORROW.
no band for me. =(
yar sad. but must see the big pix.

saw Winnie on the way home. a senior in band.haha.
she cant remember my name.woooah. of course lah. =P

dun procrastinate ur work. it feels good to complete ur hw so early!

wanted to post pix. but failed to receive from kanice. so too bad no pix! >.<

2006-03-13T19:03:00.000+08:00

i was thinking what songs to choose for this coming sun worship for the past few hours.
this time round was rather hard because im not very clear what msg shld i present.

today's harp practice was a quality one. i like it!
But you see it's not always a quality one , so i still prefer band. much more.

i doolded at the walls at far east! haha. its my first time. wrote lame things.

i saw people having camps.
i miss having games and camps
i remember the old fond memories once again.

ohyar. today bus driver checked on me!
he requested for my ez-link and questioned me which sch i was from.
and i was very pissed.
how could he doubt on me! i was wearing my sch uniform!
urgh.

i saw pris that day! yes i know that day! haha.
fri.10.03.06
it was really an unexpected one.
i took the wrong direction to go PS
i took to bugis instead.haha.
then as i U turn...
tada! i saw someone in her st mag uniform!
then tada! is wanxian! hahaha!
she rocks! cause she got the same name as me!aha!
actually more than that, she is a very very nice girl. =P

i bought my designer friend's work today at fareast! haha! come and see!i bought this!!!
very nice right? heheee....hand-made k...must buy.

more of it, samples :

u can put it on ur bags, clothes, pencil case..blabblab..anywhere that u can pin it.

Location: FarEast, Inq Box 3rd level. =)

while stock last!

*all taken from may's blog. =)

you learn by alanis morissette

You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose, you learn
You bleed, you learn
You scream, you learn

You grieve, you learn
You choke, you learn
You laugh, you learn
You choose, you learn
You pray, you learn
You ask, you learn
You live, you learn

=) it's march holi! wat's ur schedule like?
is it gona be a fruitful one?

2006-03-08T18:30:00.000+08:00

sigh.

SHOULD I JOIN BAND?

i WANT TO JOIN!

but..............................sobx. ='(

i think im very emotional these few days for not much obvious reasons.

causing my work to be affected.

this is bad, bad, BAD.

i need some help to be a bit more rational.

2006-03-02T17:28:00.000+08:00

020306
2 x 3= 6

haha, i tell you!what i met today is really very erm..im dunno how to describe, its so amazing lah!
i bang into three ppl concidently! i mean not those hi bye friend. but friends that im very close to in pri. sch! ok one of them is pei ying so is not counted cux i see her every sun. haha...but i tot to her alot too!

ok..here it goes. today is VERY good day, BECAUSE! haha! tomolo no sch!
cux of JAE and then today i ended sch quite early i guess...
haha..cux got dental at 3pm so left sch early, and my dentist see me before 3 cux i reached there at 230pm so like hmm left at 3!
hahaha..that's so good...so ok time to go home! planned to sleep hahaha...which is such a great enjoyment to me!haha..=D
sat there. waiting for my train to come. looked up,
I saw a very familiar figure...
a person not too tall , with that familiar punk punk hairstyle and that same coloured bag , walking to wards my direction. " ah! is shuzk meng!" haha! my very good friend since pri.3 ! do u koe we manage to keep in contact since then?! still can tok any thing under the sun =D haha...

yes! it's her! aha! it's really such a concidence cause u see i dun always go otram park!haha, yeah ! someone to go home with me together to lakeside , and can catch up! it has been long since we really can tok..hahaha...though she came to my sch funfair didn really properly tok much .hahaha. lalala..tokt tok tok...then on the train saw pei ying loh..she look so lost lah..hahaa..and she got her hair cut. =)

she suggested for a lunch! haha..though im quite lazy to...but heheee...this is such a rare opportunity loh! hahaha..drop off at je and had lunch at jec kfc.
.i love the little chat with had..tok abt ur amibition my amibition ur sch life and blab...and things that are once ur fav. hmm....=D im just so happy to spend little time together again!

we took 335 together. it's really had been long since i have friends that took really abt the exact same route that i go home, not counting those who stay same blk as me lah.hahaha.

while boarding the bus, i saw this gal , i tot she was from china(hehehee..) and wanted to ask my for some direction. TO MY BIGGEST SURPRISE! this person is chuan hui! we same class since pri.3 too!!!!!! but only get to know her truly better in pri.5 and 6.hahaha! and i find her accent really like foreginer loh! hahahaha...it's such a big change..haha..but yet she still sounds and look that gentle.haha..she is studying what she is passionate for that is designing in napfa...then get to work somewhere where she like that is childcare.

shuzkz, i know u really envy her.haha ...but welll.....=)

when i saw my pri. sch friends..there's just this weird feeling .
dun raelly koe how to describe.
like we are so familiar with each other yet a bit strange....
like want to really care how has she been but dunno how to talk smoothly..
just now i keep on tounge tied lah..if u had realise ..hahaha
im shy! haha...
18 years old! we are all standing in different position , facing different things....
walking different paths...
weird. its just weird. my thoughs are just confusing....hmm...

but well . im still very happy =D to get to see and tok to u all again.
today the tightening of my braces are really pain. urgh.haha.
i miss you all!

2006-02-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

IM A LOUSEY MONEY KEEPER!
urgh. yet im being assigned as tresurer in class ( it was said to be temporary, hm, but it seems im permanent now liao lah! )
and also a mini tresurer in my cell.
and im really very untrustable.
now im stuck with all the accounting for both groups.
because one of the factor is i use the money.that time during new year i used the money to pay for my stuffs first then ask the money from parents then pay back. but now my accounts are all in amess. and i have to scarifice my time to settle it. i wanted to complete my hw one...sobx.
sorry.....i koe im a bad bad person. have been trying to learn this lesson for quite some years.
urgh. i got my punishment liao that is to use my hongbao money to fill the hole up.

Lord, please help me to me be a good money keeper. =S

crescent sch prog just ended. and thank God, get to build rapport with the gals. but though i suppose to facilitate in the prog. i feel myself learning too!

good pratices of a leader
(Leadership appears to be the art of getting others TO WANT to do something you are convinced should be done. - Vance Packard)

1) inspiring a shared vision
2) challenging the process
3) enabling others
4) encourage the heart
5) model the way

some key pts that impact and remind me the most is to challenge the process. my experience of retaining really speaks lots. that is to be pro-active in my studies. must always ASK! CALRIFY DOUBTS! why am i scared how ppl will think of me? im responsible for my accademic performance.
secondly will be enabling others and encourage the heart. may i continue to learn to be concern for others from the bottom of my heart and always seek to let them give out their full potential in them.

mrs teo also shared something. there's always bound to have fustrations and dissapoinments, each of us have two choice : to react to it or respond to it?
well i guess u have the ans. =)

leaders often feel lonely.who is there to understand what he or she sees and what to achieve for the benefits of others? being a leader, you must be confident in yourself. but human is just a tiny little thing , we are not even sure of our furture and the outcome , so what and where is the confidence based on? i think that boils down to asking who are we?

if i lost my identity of being a child of God, i seriously lost everything. cause what's there in me that i can be proud abt?

to find the meaning in life, first have to get ur relationship with God right again.

woah i wrote so long today. aha. in a refelction mood mah. aha!
aha. eek. got this disgusting worm stick on my chem w/s! and its juice is in green! YUCK!
this remind me of ah lei. haha...the queen of insects.

gdnite! =P

2006-02-25T00:07:00.000+08:00

i ate subway on monday tuesday and weds!
mon : something with honey oat
tues: ham with something
weds: roast beef with italian hearty!
i love subway! cux it is healthy and it wun make u feel guilty.aha!

well. i think this year God has prepared lots of lessons ahead for me to learn. It is good right? yar, obviously it will be good. but still i feel very fearful and intimidated.
today nearly get drowned in the pool during swim PE , the experience of struggling for survival makes me feel frighten and scared. This is dunno my no. wat time almost drowned. cux of my fear of deep pool that make me so panic.

actually there's lots more. But well, sure discover one by one in detials.

eeeee, the feeling of wanting to join band came back again.
another round of struggle. eeeee. >.<

2006-02-23T21:38:00.000+08:00

im so sad!
today i wanted to chop chop go buy this PONY shoe that i saw which is like half price on monday! original price was 59 so its will be $29 after discount.HOWEVER! to my horror! as i chop chop down to orchard after sch todae..IT IS SOLD OUT! i really need a pair of shoes besides my sports shoe because i only have one pair of heels now and my sports shoe not counting my one pair of slipper. this pair of shoes is really unqiue , the kind of green it has is like hmm...that kind of jade green? baby coloured...yar is like converse shoe that kind of style but with a lot of patchy pattern. Hahaha i was sulking lah...the shop person which is a guy look rather cute...ahem ahem..he dunno how to help me but to keep on apologise.ahahaha..plus plus chun chun was there for me! haha...then we walk to find some"hope" of getting nice and cheap shoe..i saw! its 10 dollar!!!!! BUT THEN dun have my size! SOBX. so bad. in the end i bought this $8 slipper hopefully it wun lok sloppy if i wore it to church.

and i ate lots of CHOCOLATE todae. i didn have a proper meal.(except dinner) hmm, not realli on purpose.
early in the morning sat at the void deck with my class mates , list of food i ate in that free periods : hello kitty biscuit coated with choc, few bits of my friend yan's choc muffins, my own bread from home coated with nutella. yar!
following free period: choclate flavoured polky(is this the right spelling)
ok the only thing that is not choc i ate todae are the drinks: sugarcane..oo i ate kiwi too! glad there's no choc.
went orchard and grab this combo thing..dunno called what.shared with chun. but it is significantly with a thick layer on chocolate on it. and a cup of orange juice that come with it.

home food is the nicest. seriously.aha.=)
tata for now. im gona do my hw.lee wan xian is guai one. =p

2006-02-18T23:49:00.000+08:00

who dont' like to be feel loved and doted?
with just one person focusing the attention on you
sharing the sweetest memories with you alone?

sweet words and promises, i hope its not a dark pit that is going deeper and deeper.
because once fall in, i don't know how long it will take one to climb up again.
promises of an eternity, of forever...are you sure u can fulfil it?
are you aware how fragile it is?

im worried for you.
i really don't want you to feel the hurts that i experienced before.
im scared it breaks you into so many pieces that you may not stand up again.
of course, i will never want to wish this day ever happen to you.

are we sure that we are up to it? how stubborn can we be, we know its dangerous, yet often we give ourselves excuses and continue to follow what our hearts desire. (do you know that our hearts are actually decitful?) Perhaps, sometimes we even lied to ourselves that"i will be the exception."
but if i never experinced the hurts before, i will never learnt what love really is[this is only possible if i truly come to know Him] and perhaps continue to love in a wordly manner. But not everyone can learnt it after one lesson , some may become a bitter person or some continue to numb themselves....
you all are friends that i care and loved , i hope you all will be alright. really.

because my Saviour is in control. i can have my peace in Him.=)

2006-02-18T23:34:00.000+08:00

im tired!im tired!im tired!
legs are aching terrbibly.....
well yup.FUN-O-RAMA 18 is over liao!..
hmm...had fun time selling..though the amt of drinks we mange to sell are disappointing..sigh...
but had fun with my classmates..little joy, surprises laughters..are enough to sustain the smile on my face!=D=D
haha..
- blowing bubbles are fun!
- having balloons on hands are fun!
- buy things for ppl are fun!
(bought a big sunflower for shuzkz [we looked quite les today,haha,but well we are straight loh.its just that we too long nv see each other,hope she is really alright])
- got ramly burger! enci!thank you!!
- seeing familiar faces popping out infront of ur stalls are sweet and fun!
(miss them lots..memories will start to pour back again)
- Emerald green ..sounds nice? haha..but its not appealing..customers felt cheated.but is nice to drink loh.
- bought ac files
- cracking my head of how to use my coupons wisely but a bit regreat of not saving 2 dollar to buy ballons.haha.

well will try to pose the photos! it rained today u koe?

well how abt my chinese competition? well it is embarassing! disspoment! i really really wana do ac proud..wana show others like who say ac all is ang mo...got exception k..ac is not that bad..
but i forgot my speech! it sounded well in the beginning...then slowly slowly..i forget and forget and forget.......................................sobx! *embarassed*

well. thank God for today. today i didn flare up at the person that im irritated with. that's very gd! its was rather smooth .im not boiled today.haha.

2006-02-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

ITS SO HARD TO LOVE !!!
sigh. im so irritated by some ppl. i seriously detest some ppl that i met...and wonder why i ever will meet such ppl....
sigh. im seriously trying very hard to be gentle and to accomodate and to be caring. but i failed again and again.

im also a person that is also vey detestable in God's sight if it wasn't Jesus's blood that cleanses me.
but...sorry...ok i will really try....but sometimes by just hearing the person's voice alrady make me boil very high...maybe shot up to 1000 degree C...

FUN O RAMA is this coming sat! hehee...my churchmates are coming down so happy!!haha..but the experiments trip down to chun hse...are quite exciting but tiring too...and im having a competition on the very day of fun o rama too! how fun!hahaha...well..it's been long since i participat in the chi oraltorical(dunno how to spell) competiti0on...going to 3 years i think...but this is something i wana try and brush myself...participate in competitions is good. =)

its very irritating that alot of ppl keep asking u to buy our funfair tix rite? i koe..well...its very irritating for me to sell too..cux i have to sort of like beg and force..hahaha...
well. amazingly..someone reminded me abt God's leading in this selling too...haha...though is rather small..but i do agree...God take care of me in every single part of my life.
is like time is running out....peeps that i want them to come from church supposdly to have some cell discussion in the afternoon....but then amaazingly it has to change to the morning due to some reasons...then...my one or two..come and help me buy pull their friends to buy from me...small effort..but GREATLY APPRECIATED!! =D=D=D

IM SO HAPPY AND HIGH NOW! IM GONA SING LALALALALALALA! =D
how can i ever stop praising You?

2006-02-10T15:39:00.000+08:00

today is the day where all graduates of 2005 will be super duper nervous--> the arrival of the results.
the weird thing is, im nervous too! i guess it is because many ppl that i care for are receiving back their results too.hee.=P
i cracked my head of thinking what to say to them to make them less nervous or how should i say to let them feel encouraged or at least have the hope for the future. but i know this is impossible. cux neither me nor anyone are sure of the future. i bet even fortune tellers who claims that they can predict the future does not knows what is ur future like in every single details. but even they do know do u really want to ask them?
the future indeed is full of uncertainties. but it depends u are in whose hands. no one can assure u abt ur future. whenever phrases like"u can do it","u will do well" it really makes me wonder,really? 100% sure?
but with God , i can safely say : i know whatever result it is , it will not be bad cause He has the plans for me.He has planned my future in full details in a way it will prosper me and not harm me.so whatever outcomes or situations in my life..i know i will be safe. as He is the hope of my future.=) and this will keep me joyful til the day i met Him face to face.

2006-02-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

awww..my stomach is feeling awful....is so pain until i have to cuddle myself up...
must be the junks i ate over the new year...aww.....=S help....

2006-01-21T10:51:00.000+08:00

im sick again! sickness: headache (processing to fever), sorethroat,cough.let me start counting one year i must sick how many times. i know last year in one year i sick more than 5 times. let's see what's the record for this year. =P
now i cant do anything...is like no energy...im gona slp after typing this...urgh. feel so useless like that.
ok i think the honeymoon weeks is officially ended. cux this coming week will be the...end sch at 430 and guess what there's additional period called the zero period so sch ends at 510pm!!! the zero period is for the preparation for fun-o rama. oh yar! please buy tickets from me. haha.=P

i see me j2 friends like everyday so gloomy like that leh...also dunno how to cheer them up.sigh. j2 life really very cham leh...i know.

ahh..my head aches. cant write any further. shall just end here. ttfn!

2006-01-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

the breeze is back...oolalala..i love it! haha...

today i nearly get beaten up lah...i mean really. cause right..anway i was at je walking towards the bus interchange..u know the shelter? yar...there is this grp of malay guys 3 of them i think from ITE...then at the traffic there i dunno why im staring at them .i was actually stoning lah..so no expression look fierce...ok nvm...then walk and walk..then u know got this fair on ur left with the television and all..then they played the rock song..then they someone sang it out loud...i turned back..with a look that look angry...haha..i didn frown but i was stoning so when i turn back..to my horror i saw the three guys staring back at me..ok i didn showed my horror so it looked as if i diao them...then they start saying to me ..."why u turn back" " you never see people sing before ah"..i just keep on walking pretending i nv hear...then they say a bit more ...then i hurry walk off..thx God they never follow me ..or else i will die.haha. now i know how ppl get beaten up when they "diao" ppl.

awww...dad..keep on nagging abt me that im idleing around..keep on saying how to get thru j1 this year...ahyoi!!!
ok.matter of fact..i did all the pre lecture preparation...did as many tutorial qn as i can...but last year i already dunno the first few topics well wat..so i cant finish the tutorial...cux i dun understand so waiting for the lectuer to teach me.

i got a serious problem here : now when i see phy i will automatically wana switch off...how !!! i still choose it as core subject..i like the subject...but i fear the subject...
i got the solution! i need someone to do phy hw with me....really ..it works..cux when i switch off means i wana run away means i wana sleep....who wana do phy with me!
sigh . my dear juniors all choose bio chem...still cant find the rare ones who took phy maths...i wonder who is in the same class as me! im so scared! yet excited.
dear xiang helped me checked out liao...im in 1SA5.sounds really cool. i hope i can fit it ya.tomolo is our first contact time i wonder...

grace went back australia....though this is her 3rd time coming back to sg and going back..still got that feeling of sadness...the u know..hope u are here..not there...kind of feeling...gona see her onli june..by then she will complete her biggest exam..and preparing to go Uni. so fast rite...everything is just in a year.

yesterday the met up with grace and jo. woah..its been long since we last hang out...just sit at bk and tok...i think fairfield ppl like to sit down somewhere and just start stoning or toking or something...haha...last time we always hang out in sch ... or dover..or clementi...haha..jo say she wants to have four kids!!so rare rite?she want to get married either 25 or 26!haha...then she want her first baby after getting married for a year! must note this down...haha...then by then i can call her auntie jo.haha...

saw someone's nick something like this...memories is just like on going film without sound...i think is quite true to a large extend..the fun i have with my juniors now..make the fairfield warm warm feeling back to me again..but ...is soon as we part into different classes ... is just gona integrated into my memory bank...something that cannot withdraw like switzerland bank...well...tell me what can last till the eternity?
FOG (fairfield OG!)- once a fairsian always a fairsian. =)

2006-01-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

the weather is so nice and cooling! though is a bit too cold...but i like this kind of weather! hee..i just enjoyed a cup of hot milo. the feeling is so shiok! hee...it was raining "BIG" cats and "BIG" DOGS just now, everywhere is like flooded, its so nice to get a free cab ride home...hehee...=P i got short cool hair now...and lots of people say is nice! haha..all thankx to my ah ling for introducing such a nice saloon! haha........lalala...im going to me lala land...to meet my pinky tree.....ok..im not making any sense here and there's no meaning to it so no need to try to figure.haha!

note: guard ur heart and use the vibrant that a youth has to serve the Lord faithfully. =)
= the joy of my Lord is my strength =

2006-01-11T23:28:00.000+08:00

God is good.God is faithful.God is gracious. God is love.God is wonderful cousellor.God is Amighty.God is my strength.God is my joy.God is my everything!God is good.God is faithful.God is gracious. God is love.God is wonderful cousellor.God is Amighty.God is my strength.God is my joy.God is my everything!God is good.God is faithful.God is gracious. God is love.God is wonderful cousellor.God loves christa.God is Amighty.God is my strength.God is my joy.God is my everything!God is good.God is faithful.God is gracious. God is love.God is wonderful cousellor.God is Amighty.God is my strength.God gives me peace.God loves wan xian. God is my joy.God is my everything!God is good.God is faithful.God is gracious. God is love.God loves me me me!God is wonderful cousellor.God is Amighty.God is my strength.God is my joy.God is my everything!God is good.God is faithful.God is gracious. God is love.God is wonderful cousellor.God is Amighty.God is my strength.God is my joy.God is my everything!God is good.God is faithful.God is gracious. God is love.God is wonderful cousellor.God is Amighty.God is my strength.God is my joy.
God is my everything,everything,everything!=D

2006-01-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is school reopen. i think those graduates from secondary schools..are rather excited. but frankly speaking im not. i seriously dunno how is gona be like when i step back in sch. as i reflected back 2005...what i see is really darkness...the feeling yucks big times...and thus i really really dun want to go back and suffer again. sigh sigh...i want to run away...haha..but yar i know i cant run away. i know i know.

see...times can be really tough and difficult...seriously without God i dunno how to tide thru with a smile. "with Christ in the vessel i can smile at the storm!" haha. He provides me with friends!you know u heard of ac culture right...very negative right..but the friends i met are really great and nice...not a "product" of ac culture...haha..

God's plans are the best for me and His thought are far greater than my thoughts. as i look ahead the year 2006...i saw alot of heaps....u koe..like when u run ur mac ritchie..haha..so many steep slopes...but when u come down is so shuang...so yar..climbing hard up ....but..haha..the end result will be great! haha...my chacter will be moulded. becoming more woman. ahahahahahaa.

*with tears* no matter how tough this year gona be. God will be enthroned in my heart. and He will be with me to tide thru my storms , waves, thurders...watever that is nasty.yeah! =P

2006-01-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

haha... how did u countdown yesterday?
i also hope myself to be somewhere whereby i can see big big fireworks *pui*pui* infront of me...haha.... but i koe it's quite impossible so i hope for another thing hope that i can get the u koe the stick kind of fireworks...hahaha...so i tried to persuade my churchmates to go with me and try out 7-11...ok i know.i xin fu kou fu that 7-11 DUN SELL such things. ahaha.

well. but im very happy to be with all my sisters and brothers in christ yseterday. yesterday my church have this 'shi ge zhan mei hui' whereby u can see people ranging from the oldest to the youngest come to present items to praise God..i dunno how to describe how touching it was...but it was really a historical moment. u really miss it if u are not there to see. =) i believe that God will revive JCC too... and today the new pastor officially step up. =P

ok. so this is how we countdown. i think we are rebellios, or rather i am .haha cux i die die also dun want to go home before 12....since it's already near 11 might as well wait rite? k cant find fireworks...so how to celebrate countdown? we discussed intesively....haha...but well seems that nothing exciting come out. by the time we tal finish its already ard 1130pm...how how? ok..stoning starts to creep in...we tired to da fa shi jian by taking photos...in the end...just sit down there....and continue stoning....haha..stone and stone...many left onli left me,EC,EW,SE,thomas,sem and another guy...sorry i dunno his name.=S so ok... 1150pm..what to do...someone suggested the rooftop.wat do u called rooftop in chi? is "yang tai" or "tian tai"....guess wat i say "yang tai" ..so embarassing lah...haha...btw the way up to the rooftop i locked..so we climbed in...haha...as usual im clumsy as ever...need the most help to get in and out...hahahaha...so we stood there..for 1 or 2 min? then we hear the sound of counting down from the nearby CC..then we followed them and count..10...9...8..7..6..5..4..3..2...1 ! happy new year!we shook one another's hands..haha...that's it..climbed out and go home liao.hahaha..sound so boring rite?haha..well i enjoy it though..haha..it's lame..but it's nice cux im with my sis and brothers in christ!hahaha...

there's another part to the story.,.poor khai and her bro...left church way before us...but the irritating 98 took to so long to come...they end up counting down at the bustop...haha..

ok.i know this is a boring entry. but it's something i want to remember.haha. so.yarloh.it'smyblog wat.hahaha...ok im going to look thru my new year resolution again...hehee..i will consider to post it up..=)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2005-12-29T09:43:00.000+08:00

friendster can be quite addictive i think...i kept looking at people photos and is going to be an hour...how scary...i think...many things u know it just become memories and u cant turn it back and cant have it back liao...quite sad hor...yarloh...i really miss secondary school days very badly...but let's stop dreaming to be back into secondary school days...aww..the feeling is awful...=S

have you watched narnia?
must go and watch ok...it's very nice and very touching.
woah.did i tell you?
im most touched at the scene of the battle.
wana know why?
it reminded me about the fact that all christians are constantly in this spirtual warfare.
yar, battling gainst the evil Satan for the good cause of doing God's work and living up a life pleaseing to Him.
however many a times we fail..we give in ..(sometimes we didn't even know) letting Satan have a foothold...
how's the situation in your life? are you still fighting hard? still standing as firm as before?or you wanted to retreat? just want to be a christian that dun fight.(that's weird!)
i think most importantly we have to examine the willingness of our heart.
are you willing? to die in this battle? or are you ready? to fight in this battle.
many people died for the good cause. died cause they want to share God's good news.
how abt me? i was guilty cux i know i still didn give all i have and go all the way just to share the good news. many a times, i will lost the friendships with my friends. and cux my own spiritual battle in my daily life. it's so hard to react in all situation in a Christ-like manner and attitude.
"For Narnia, for Aslan"
let's continue to encourage one another to not to give up in running the race. amazingly this was the verse I came across during QT yesterday,
"therefore,since we are surroundeded by a great cloud of witnesses,let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely,and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,looking to Jesus the founder and perfecter of our faith..." Hebrews 12:1-2

let God's love to us be our motivation in running this race.=D

2005-12-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

hello peeps~ !it's christmas!!!! christmas!!!! =D

i wana wish you a merry christmas,
i wana wish you a merry christmas!
i wana wish you a merry christmas
from the bottom of my heart ah!!! hee ~come sing with me!hee!

but hor u koe hor...christmas wihtout jesus has no meaning le...so let us also put aside a time for God to thank Him for loving us so much to send His son on earth to die for us.He don't need to u koe u koe?

if you have the time to spend crazy times with your friends must cherish, cux someone peep have to spend time in their lab! sigh sigh.

hee, well thankies for all our lovely cards and presents!!! hee...i love chocolate i love choclate!

hey EC i love your magnet...IT'S OK TO BE SLOW BUT JUST DUN STOP.
hee~ trying to suan me at the same time it encouraged me =P

what you want for christmas? =)
reminder: sch is one week away.................................................

2005-12-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

tired. i think for the next many entries im just gona keep on repeating this.

sigh. i dun like the feeling of hmm....not being able to achieve the ideal case. it embeds the feeling of rejection.
sounds like a perfectionist ya? im quite a perfectionist actually...but over the years... it's not that much now....it's that good or bad?

brain: im tired.
mind: im tired too.
heart: im tired three.

how i wish someone can just carry moi..